New Beginnings

Growing up I remember a time when running was fun. In fact, I was good at it. I was taller than most kids, still am, and it gave me a slight advantage during field day. My long legs would carry me around that track at speeds that had me soaring above the clouds. That version of me never lasted. As my home life dramatically changed moving from Tampa to the little town of Milton, FL my body and mind began making dramatic changes as well.

Whether through real or perceived injustice’s to my 9 year old self, I began hating being stuck in a chess match between two parents and eventually bearing burdens a child never wants or should ever have to bear. These changes challenged me and unfortunately I was losing. My physical body made vast changes. My legs begun to lengthen, my arms started stretching across the surface of the land and my body growing disproportionately. Traveling back and forth between families it became a battle of will and I grew so tired and scared that food became my comfort.

Sometimes I can remember coming home from school to eat bean burritos that were roughly 300+ calories and then proceed to eat when my mom made dinner. To this day I don’t know if I ate then to fill a void or if I put myself in a routine that no one ever broke. Like most teenagers, I was stubborn and if someone told me no, they didn’t do it in a way that got through to me.

Heredity and lack of proper nutrition didn’t help these changes growing up, but at some point we have to stop making excuses and make a change. Eventually as I got older and educated in college I began to make those changes. I’m leaving gaps in this story because I hope that later I can continue this story in a way that is meaningful to me and to those that bother to follow me on my journey. I fill you in that I eventually reached over 337 pounds in college. I know that specific number because it was the last time I braved weighing myself when I began a new journey that ultimately helped get me to this point.

I have worked hard to lose and now gain my way to get back to an unhealthy 268 pounds, but this is where I begin a new adventure in my life. Next year I turn 30 years old and I don’t want to live this way anymore. I’m tired of complacency, excuses, and the weight of the world that I have carried on my shoulders mentally, and now physically around my waist. Over the next year I plan to try to write as much as possible talking about bits of my past, present and future. I am looking forward to beginning training towards competing in my first triathlon next year in the fall. More importantly I look forward to the physical and mental transformation I hope to begin. I thank you for being here as I start my journey and hope to see you at the finish line.

It was a dark and stormy night...

It was a dark and stormy night and three bandits sat by the camp fire, one bandit says to the next, "hey Pedro, tell us a story" so Pedro began. It was a dark and stormy night and three bandits sat by the camp fire, one bandit says to the next, "hey Pedro, tell us a story" so Pedro began. It was a dark and stormy night... Papa always had a story or a joke. That was one of the things that many people loved about him. He had an incredible ability to put a smile on your face even through our darkest of times. Maybe that comes from the time he spent growing up during the great depression. I can recall the numerous stories of how he could go to see a movie for less than 10 cents. Now you can’t go see a movie with out refinancing your house. His experiences have helped to guide all of us in our own journeys in life.

Papa was also an artist. The things he could whittle with wood were amazing. Many of us are lucky to have his pens, purse holders, welsh love spoons, or any other item he created. An unknown individual once said, “Each day is a new canvas to paint upon. Make sure your picture is full of life and happiness, and at the end of the day you don’t look at it and wish you had painted something different.” I think we can all agree that Papa wouldn’t change anything about the way he lived his life. As an artist myself, I look at his life and see a masterpiece. He perfectly weaved compassion with family, love with anger, and humor with life. He was the paint of God’s palette and together they created a beautiful painting.

Lenardo DaVinci once said, "As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death." Papa lived, and I mean truly lived. He spent time in the military, went to college, was an eagle scout, a mason, a shriner, a clown, a son, husband, father, grand father, great grandfather, and a friend. Truthfully he was master of all disguises, because he was everything to everyone. He especially meant the world to my Nana, Jean Brimmer. They taught me so much as a loving couple and as parents how to live my life with compassion, truth, humor, and great food. They were to me a perfect example for the foundation of marriage. Maybe through harder times as children they learned the value of what one has and how it can all be quickly taken away.

All of us learned that almost 10 years ago when Nana was quickly taken from us. Papa though heart broken at losing his soul mate persevered and I, like many of us, feel lucky to still have had him for these last several years. He was able to see grandchildren graduate high school, get married, and even saw his great grand children be born into this world. John Chapter 14: verse 27 states, “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid."

Papa gave all of us the greatest gift of all, time. Time to learn from a man who has experienced many things, whose wisdom goes well beyond the boundaries of life, and who we could share in positives and negatives in our life. He would pick us up when we fell, lend a hand to hold us up when the world was bringing us down, and would lend a shoulder when you needed someone to talk to. Papa is leaving us with the gift of himself, because in reality he never left. He is within each of us as we carry the memories with him, as we carry the wisdom he imparted on to all of us, and as we teach our children the things he taught us. Every time it’s a dark and stormy night I will always think of Pedro sitting around a campfire telling his story and see Papa’s face dimly lit by the creakingly of the lighting as we brace for the storm. Knowing that through any weather I will always be safe because he is there protecting me.

Excuses?!

As a new year begins, we tend to start contemplating the things in life we would like to change about ourselves or our situations. I hear things from wanting to quit smoking, wanting to save more money, wanting to lose weight, etc. All resolutions have great reasoning, but what is sometimes lacking is the resolve for follow through. I, myself, am guilty of making resolutions, but looking back at the end of the year feeling remorse for unsuccessfully fulfilling an obligation I made to myself. That is why I will make a new resolution this year to throw out resolutions and begin making strides to successful goals. Any runner will tell you that they never reached their current pace over night, nor was any Olympian born with 8 gold medals. Success comes with perseverance, practice and more importantly failure.

Failure isn't something to be scared of and in fact can be the fuel we need to achieve our goals. I have failed many of you by not updating my blog over the last few months. My excuses are many and generally center around knee issues that have required me to postpone my marathon, adjusting to parenthood, and work. All of these things are just excuses, walls that I have built up in my mind that have halted me from achieving my goals. My excuses aren't what stops me from achieving my goals, but I am what stops me from achieving my goals. I have failed myself.

This though is not the end. I plan to modify my goals to adapt to my knee injury and find ways to lose weight and continue to take those strides needed to achieve my ultimate goal of running a marathon. Instead of telling myself that I cant run a 5k, I will instead walk one until I can get the strength and endurance to run one. Our excuses are typically mind over matter and what truly matters is the happiness we can feel with achieving our end result. I hope that the New Year brings all of you great peace, prosperity, and happiness. Get out there and try, that is all I can ask and all you owe yourself.